I dedicate this week to someone so special.

I love you sooooooooo much!!!!!

Love you Monday!

Love you Tuesday!

Love you Wednesday!

Love you Thursday!

Love you Friday!!!

Love you Saturday!

Love you Sunday!

Love you every single day!

Love you yesterday, love you today, love you tomorrow, love you the day after tomorrow, love you, love you,love you,love you,love you,love you,love you…..I will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu……

And I……….will…always…LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEe uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Have I love you enough?

Love is never enough….

For a good reason, I think I need a breakaway from those “clowns” in what I called the “The Circus of My Life”. My nerves are about to explode each time I step into the ring. I think the acts are getting a bit too stale for me to pay the ticket and watch it.  Everyday without fail, there are bound to be a clown or two or MORE…who just believe you me, gets on my freaking nerves.

One clown just did something stupid, thanks to d’clown now I might have just messed up something. Isn’t that wonderful? You don’t call them clowns for nothing, right? So here we go, I’ll find out tomorrow if its going to be a total screwed or not. And probably since I can’t beat them, joining them would be a better alternative. Under the bo-pian act, we play along….

Goodness gracious me….

And so my niece was born 22 October 2009 @ 6:36am. Laura, its just Laura. I love u my sweet tiny lil’ niece. Muacks!

The direction I was searching for only points to one direction. THAT direction.
I think I just made 2 life-changing decisions during the past 8.5hours….
Decision made…now must I execute…

What if she had stopped when she had that bad fall? She might not met all those people she met, I wouldn’t hear those wonderful stories from her, I wouldn’t be there in the first place.

She believed and she persevered. She was persistent. She did reached the end of her rope, tie a knot and hang on. That tipping point that is the break-through of it all…The storm passes, she wins and live to tell me the story.

Why so? Because HE wants to tell me something. And I believe HE just did, through her. I so believe in HIM, and how HE has open my eyes and heart to see it all so clearly. It is so amazing how HE does it. Truly AMAZING….beyond words. I just can’t describe it. I plan to write a long story.

I believe my turn has come. I should rise and fall just the same way I literrally fall down all too many a times, and all I need to do, is to pick myself up and clean the dirt off of me. Keep walking. Its ok to fall down, its just not OK to stay down and cry for help. Get up, dust the dirt and walk. You never know what’s ahead of you. I mean it literally and figuratively.

10 years later, I don’t wanna ask myself why I didn’t try. I’m only ankle deep now. The challenges are ahead. Let ride the storm!!!! Wohooooooo!!!

Looking back at my Ramadhan 1430H pledges, here’s a re-cap.

1. I must do my best to perform my Solat Fardhu 5 times a day without slacking, from this Ramadhan onwards. (I had been slacking at times, have to admit lorr) - checked
2. I must do my best to achieve at least 5 nights of terawih (being realistic here ok, I could do more if time permits). I didn’t get even one last year, which is BAD.- checked, sort of
3. Do more charity, which comes in many form, not just by dropping money in the box eh.- checked

Alhamdullillah, it was a special Ramadhan personally for me unlike any other. I kept saying it to everybody because this year it is so significant for me.

Syawal, so far, is also different. Special this year. Each time I seek forgiveness, I felt this ’sayu’ (very very sad) feeling inside of me but ALWAYS try very much not to shed any tears. The words that my mum’s friend said, touched my heart so much, my eyes got teary but I wanna be tough. So I just bow my head low and blink crazily to flush it away. I just cried at home watching the news when they show the visuals of the earthquake victims in Sumatra. God helps them. Especially so, when you got a whole lot of audience watching. We’ve been like a family. She’s been like a mother to me. We’ve had fun together, holiday together, sadness together, eat together. We’ve gone through loads together and I was so welcomed in the family. Feels good to have more than one brothers and sisters. Well I’m the only daughter and I only got one brother. Now I gained another sister and soon a niece due to see the world in Nov.  You only realized how much you have when you sit and ponder, after such a touching moment. Oh how grateful I am to HIM.

Feels great to have such a big family. My family is big enough and I’m always thankful for the happiness within in. Despite some glitches, but that’s normal in family life. We are far from perfect but we sure are perfect for each other. And I learnt tolerance is important in a family life.

How can I not be greatful for the blessing that ALLAH s.w.t has bestowed upon me. I’m eternally greatful to HIM for the family that I was born into, a family that I was welcomed into, the quality of friendship I have with my friends I’ve known for many years, and some are newly made, of coz. They have made me who I am today. I’m so grateful to all my friends for being there for me. How this Syawal made me realized my life is far from stale. Its such a blessed one!! Alhamdullillah….

Insya Allah, we shall grow together in good times and bad times. May we always be under his umbrella of protection and may HE always show us the light to HIS way so we have all that we need in life and in death. Ameen! Insya Allah…..

You only realized it when you sit and reflect on your life…

Thanks to Abang’s GPS, DAUF, I survived the traffic jam & risk of getting lost at peak hours for important appointment.

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living” – Gail Sheehy

This is it! Step 1-Done!

Next…..

A fresh look for the blog, still green-based. Will do my best to make the entries as refreshing as the new theme. 

I had a blast ytd nite. My simple plan got complicated, as usual. My road trip after work begins from Commonwealth to Tampines to Orchard, then Woodlands to Fort Road and back to Jurong. By doing that, I passed by ECP twice & PIE twice: 2/10 worth of petrol gone. The fun I had: Priceless!!!! See why I should get a Taxi License next year. Hehehe…

Nenek cook an impromptu feast for us. Simple but being us, we created havoc while breaking our fast with Cik Norma. Had a good laugh with the old folks.

Today more errands to run before raya comes on Sunday. After raya, its back to work and more work. But I think Judy gonna make me shed few pounds over jogging, swimming and squashing. Been a while….but gonna pick it up again soon.

Got couple of lessons in Oct, holiday plans for Nov, and what’s up in December??  Don’t know yet. Then when the new year begins, it would be a fresh start to my dream…Muahahahhhaha…..this year really goes by fast….

Ok another hour before I can gracefully take my leave

There are B1 and B2. If its not B1, its B2 and vice versa, that gives me the High BP. Day by day, they drives to my wits. Don’t make me do what I did 2.5 years ago!!! I’m almost at it already!! And just need a last kick in the ass to make me do what I want to do.

Is this almost burnout stage or just another month of PMS? Gosh! Either way I’m not enjoying any of it. This is madness.

BUT THEN ORRRR…..whatever I’m doing now is pretty much what i’ll do, if I decide to do what I plan to do. Get it? NO? Well, you’re not suppose to anyway…hahahha…

But at least, I’m not doing it for anyone but ME! I can only be mad at myself. That wasn’t so bad. This is becoming a routine and I’m not liking it one bit. Complaining doesn’t and WILL NOT HELP. Positive thinking will but it might not last long. So what the permanent solution here? For me to know, already know actually. For you all to not be kepo.

I need to go get rid of the cravings of something first. Probably holding myself back won’t do much good right now. So let’s just do it lah.

Do it! Do it! Do it! Maybe tonight lah…must do already…tonight have to have tooooooooooooooooooooo

Now must do something URGENT! Who say URGENT? Everything also urgent what….so this one must be SUPER SUPER SUPERRR URGENT! WTH!