Keep the Faith

Back at work after an extended weekend packed with family, food (lots of it) and friends. Now I’m just after lunch at work .I think work is going to get pretty, pretty darn busy. But then again there is the thing abt this 2-week long leave which kinda compulsary to clear. Not quite right if you ask me. But since they insist, might as well get on with it.

If work ain’t bz, its not called work, would it? So until I strike it rich, I should learn to shut my trap and do my work, for what I’m paid for.

And I just had a weird dream last night, right abt the time when someone far away was thinking about me. Is that it? Is that the sign? Is that how its going to work out? Can it be that fast?

It is becoming sooooo real that I’m at the point of freaking out here.

Forget that for a while and back to the upcoming weekend.

I’ve a beach party-cum-bbq to attend.

Maybe a game of badminton…maybe only….can’t even get a booking yet.

Then comes the house cleaning and prep it for a function. My little niece is turning a-month-old, Little Laura will be at Jurong West Yippie….The house will be crowded with loved ones, friends, relatives and extended relatives who can’t wait to see Laura, for those who have yet to see her….Food will be in abundant, lots of merry making, and getting to know each other. 

Alhamdullilah, Allah s.w.t makes it all possible.

May HE blessed the baby shower for Laura with much blessings and takes care of the function. Insha Allah…Amin. Amin. Amin…

May HE also shelters and protects my Auntie Norma who is performing a very noble duties in Mekkah – as a nurse in the Hajj Mission and thankfully she gets to perform her Hajj for the 2nd time.  Syukur Alhamdullilah for that.

And I’m still puzzled over my dream last night. It wasn’t anywhere near a “sweet dreams” category.  Dream dream dream….

 

 

Reflections….

Looking back at my Ramadhan 1430H pledges, here’s a re-cap.

1. I must do my best to perform my Solat Fardhu 5 times a day without slacking, from this Ramadhan onwards. (I had been slacking at times, have to admit lorr) - checked
2. I must do my best to achieve at least 5 nights of terawih (being realistic here ok, I could do more if time permits). I didn’t get even one last year, which is BAD.- checked, sort of
3. Do more charity, which comes in many form, not just by dropping money in the box eh.- checked

Alhamdullillah, it was a special Ramadhan personally for me unlike any other. I kept saying it to everybody because this year it is so significant for me.

Syawal, so far, is also different. Special this year. Each time I seek forgiveness, I felt this ’sayu’ (very very sad) feeling inside of me but ALWAYS try very much not to shed any tears. The words that my mum’s friend said, touched my heart so much, my eyes got teary but I wanna be tough. So I just bow my head low and blink crazily to flush it away. I just cried at home watching the news when they show the visuals of the earthquake victims in Sumatra. God helps them. Especially so, when you got a whole lot of audience watching. We’ve been like a family. She’s been like a mother to me. We’ve had fun together, holiday together, sadness together, eat together. We’ve gone through loads together and I was so welcomed in the family. Feels good to have more than one brothers and sisters. Well I’m the only daughter and I only got one brother. Now I gained another sister and soon a niece due to see the world in Nov.  You only realized how much you have when you sit and ponder, after such a touching moment. Oh how grateful I am to HIM.

Feels great to have such a big family. My family is big enough and I’m always thankful for the happiness within in. Despite some glitches, but that’s normal in family life. We are far from perfect but we sure are perfect for each other. And I learnt tolerance is important in a family life.

How can I not be greatful for the blessing that ALLAH s.w.t has bestowed upon me. I’m eternally greatful to HIM for the family that I was born into, a family that I was welcomed into, the quality of friendship I have with my friends I’ve known for many years, and some are newly made, of coz. They have made me who I am today. I’m so grateful to all my friends for being there for me. How this Syawal made me realized my life is far from stale. Its such a blessed one!! Alhamdullillah….

Insya Allah, we shall grow together in good times and bad times. May we always be under his umbrella of protection and may HE always show us the light to HIS way so we have all that we need in life and in death. Ameen! Insya Allah…..

You only realized it when you sit and reflect on your life…

 

To all the men in my life…..

I love kids for they are innocent, naive and smart, all at the same time.

They ask questions that adults don’t usually ask or simply overlooked. I encountered that moment a couple of months back. Didn’t give it much thought until today. Though I wish the same question come from someone else….hehehe… But then again, if they do, I probably reacted differently. Strange but maybe coz kids asked out of pure innocence rather than being a busybody like some adults doo.

But it did strike me as to WHY such question.  They must have either seen a lot of sinetrons or they ever heard the adults talking abt it. It all comes back to the adults…Their PARENTS, like all our parents, they are flawed, contradicting but yet always forgivable. For we are none other than their kids. Kids have such inquisitve minds. I wish I’m forever a kids. My entire life I’m surrounded by kids.

Growing up at 406 Clementi, I suddenly recalled that I’m the only girl. I was surrounded by abang, abg amy, abg sani, and I do recall this 2 good-looking boy siblings living at the other end of the corridor. Don’t quite recall their names. But basically I’m surrounded by boys. I have a toy car which required me to paddle. Not those electrical/chargable car kids have nowadays. That’s vague how I still have that bit of memory of my childhood days outside the corridors of Blk 406. I also recalled Papa always brings me swimming at Clementi swimming pool. Papa actually tried to teach me how to swim, with my legs splashing all over the place, I wouldn’t say it is very much a success. Then I have those photos of the younger Yai (granpa) carrying me in his arms. Him and nenek showered me with much love and toys and loads of cash (tats during my school days). I think being a very young kid I was NEVER running out of cash. Bringing $50 at primary school level for some could be rare. But for me its a monthly affair, because Yai’s pay day usually means I’m richer. I never save the $$$ anyway, I’ll spend and spend. And I’ll get more everytime. And pls ok, that’s NOT why I love him. I love them ALL because they gave me unconditional love. 

Growing even older at Bukit Batok blk 248. I did have some girl friends but I’d prefer the guys because they are, what I called “no-fuss and no-frills”. Simple, just play, have fun, tired already, go home and eat…play some more..hahahha…I remember those guys. Anak cik yassin, cik ahmad tingkat 4, cik rosli, those are the closest. There are more. Mostly boys. each family has at least one girls who are either too old or too young to play with me. And because I’m probably a PUSH-OVER even at such young age, the boys doesn’t really mind having me around. Hari Raya would mean Papa bring us both to Bukit Timah shopping centre to buy clothes..Orchard is a luxury once a while when we follow Cik Norma. Swensens & McDonalds was also a luxury. I remember lots of “my-first”, like first McDonald visit was with Yai at Bukit Batok. Yai bought me a Cheeseburger Happy Meal. I must have been the happiest grand-daughter in Bukit Batok, maybe. I remember looking at his face after leaving the queue with my Happy Meal box. So happy & grateful!!  My first MRT trip from Bukit Batok back then was with Papa. It was a few days after the MRT was in operations. Those are the prominent ones i recalled until today.

My point is,  my life has always been around boys, men who are always there to protect me. Kinda…even now I have close buds who are men *can’t be boys right?*

BUT STRANGELY I CAN’T GET A BOYFRIEND..*ROFL* Really strange. I mean REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY…. I never actually give up and sworn myself to singlehood. I don’t know the meaning of give up in some matters, u see. But I already put the matter to rest coz its not a topic that can be force nor plan. I’m just glad being single also, for many reasons actually. So being on the brighter side of things, I believe it is not yet my time to find “Mr Husband”. So ok lah…I can live with that, FOR NOW.  Just for now ya.

This entry, I talked abt nothing else but men. Father, Brother, Granpa and other men. This is partly to commemorate Fathers Day on 21 June. My mini-bbq just turn into somewhat a big event with abt 60 pax. Hawa said its like my engagement party (amin! amin!) *LOL*

So…

To Papa whose garang-ness (fierce-ness) must have put me under control, and tamed and obedient , else I might just go wild coz I’m not afraid of the rest of them, I get pampered by the rest, even my aunties & uncles. Happy Father’s Day Papa!

To Yai, even though you are my super loveable granpa, you’ve been and always will be like a father to me also. I will never forget each day you fetch me and waited for me - after school, after tuition, after ngaji, send me to religious class. basically everywhere, you are always there for me. Selamat Hari Bapa!

To Abang, father-to-be-in-Nov, need not say much. The fella who finished my milk-bottle filled with Rose Syrup or Milo back then when we were kids. Until today, you have the habit of taking sips from my Nescafe/MILO/COKE, turning off the light when I shower and make me scream like mad woman….haha..Still, I’m sure you will be a good, responsible and loving father to your kid coz of your patience in dealing with issues. Insya Allah. Amin.

To my late Atuk, I can only gift a gift of Al-Fatehah, may your soul rest among those who are dear to HIM. Amin. Insya Allah.

Happy Fathers Day to All the Fathers out there…my uncles wherever you are, the fathers of my closest friends. And all the fathers in the world. I wish you all a Happy Fathers Day!

Time to go home! Preparation for BBQ starts yesterday. *ROFL*

 

Post-Raya

Have you ever give a thought abt this…..read on

How our parents tend to compare us typically with a statement like “Kids nowadays are not like kids last time (they meant their time).”  Which actually means, we are somewhat worst of as compared to them in terms of discipline and many other matters. Have to agree, but sadly, things changed, so we gotta live with it and adapt. ya?

I got that from my mama lately. And my reply to her was short and sweet, “Parents nowadays are not like parents last time.” I told her to give it some thoughts. Probably that’s the root cause of the problem anyway….. Shall not elaborate on the funny things my parents did….that statement is very valid, mind you. We are sort of ADDAMS FAMILY material…so it gets freaky, funny and weird at times. So if you wanna marry me (any ‘lucky’ guy out there)…..Preeeppppareee yourselllffff…..wakakkakaka…

Similarly, she or probably many more parents would say things like, “Remember that you only got one mother/father, once they are gone, they are gone.” TRUE! very very true….but I have to admit that,  shouldn’t they also think they only got 1 of me(their daughter)…and no more…if i’m gone..means i’m gone. they are not abt to get another me even if they can wait another 28 years to groom another me. Coz God make us unique…so no more…no repeat printing

Same things apply. I ever ask my mum the exact same thing. At times,noooo!! MANY TIME, she brought about the talk “if she is no more, I should….”, so I told her, if I drop dead right now if front of you, not even tomorrow, I mean right now, this very second……can you pls….”. She wouldn’t even let me finish the statement, I get a stare also from here. So I said don’t ever bring up death as a threat. Mainly because we don’t know when it comes or how. So leave that to God. Don’t interfere in business  you have no control over. My so-called principles lah ok. Coz if it comes to that point, there is no point talking. Just memories left behind. But until then, we should just live our lifes and treasure each other and most importantly, SHOW it….don’t be afraid to show you love, you hate…or probably you don’t give a shit…still show…show to those of them who deserves it. or show it to any strangers…do some good did…trust me, you’ll feel good abt it yourself.

So that’s my thought as I try to bear this back pain, could be due to some heavy lifting during the raya prep. but to be honest, I don’t exactly recall how it happen. Now lets just focus on getting it better for now.

Raya was rather slow this year and somehow or rather I felt something is missing but last Saturday when all gathered at my place, it was a blast. Hawa got herself a Canon EOS 450 or something like tat…We took a family photo (incomplete, as usual) but those present are enough to bring the house down. And the seniors are so bothered because the camera snap without flash…..my God they are so afraid the gambar tak jadi. It was hilarious I tell u…told ya already “ADDAMS Family material”….you just imagine ADDAMS Family….go watch the movie if you have no idea what I’m talking about….ok…

45 mins before i get myself a massage, hopefully, not voluntarily wanting the TCM to massage but the backpain is bad enough I need to get it fix because I think it is getting worse…..i don’t remember it was this painful past few days….mum wanted to follow but since i’m going to the one near my place….i guess its alright lah….lots of appointment this week..lets get it done one at a time….

To my Muslim friends and relatives, selamat hari raya! Maaf Zahir & Batin!