To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom ~Bertrand Russell~

I’m so bloody sick of the one-way traffic. Really, why?
FCKN Sickening….! Seriously need to FCK OFF!

I need my 3rd cuppa coffee before I can read the eScrow Agreement crap again…this is really a pain siah…..

Adopt the pace of Nature, Her secret is Patience ~R.W.Emerson~

Separation IS painful….I felt it once. Can’t forget the day it happened even till today. Its been years since that fateful day…. I find ways to fight it. The mixed feeling, the desperation, frustration of not being near the person I so dearly love. I made the situation works for me somehow someway…I choose not to live it to fate to make it work. But only time fixed it for me. At such age, I had to endure it. I can replay that scene again and again in my head and it hurts to just think about.

Now I’m living apart but I can already live with it. It was not until many years later you realized that its ok to be apart. So long as you know deep inside the love doesn’t fade away. It didn’t!!  It still goes on strong. Somehow stronger I think.

But what if another such moment comes again in my life? How will I face it now, as an adult? Will it be the same way I fix it back then? I doubt it. I am just an audience now…not matter what, all there is to do is – Hope, Pray, Wish. Have faith in what HE has instore for us all. HE knows best.  Who am I to decide such things? It will happen eventually, naturally. If I’m lucky enough, I probably won’t realized its happenning. Or probably before anyone goes away from me, how abt I go away from everyone? That way, probably I don’t have to bear the pain, AGAIN.

But on the side, I’m about to make this leap in my life. I dunno if it will MAKE or BREAK me. About to find out real soon.  I dunno if its good or bad quality of mine, if I want something, I will do my best, sweat or bleed to get it. But sometimes, I get nothing more than tears, on top of the sweat and blood. But this time, I think I can make something else…..

Vision without Action is nothing but a dream

Action without Vision is simply passing the time

Action WITH Vision is making a positive difference

- Joel Barker

Opportunity is nowhere. How do u read it?

Are you one who make things happen or you wait for things to happen or you just wonder what happened?

I wanna make things happen when the opportunity is here. If being able to buy a nice bungalow is a materialistic target that can drives a person to fulfilling their dream or someone else’s dream..why not? It is a TARGET nonethoughless.

At least I will make one person happy. But how far would you go to achieve the dream?

Ever heard, “ROAD TO SUCCESS”. Many would love to travel that path, but not many will last throughout the journey to even smell the air of success. But some will. That road to success, you can’t have anyone bring you there..but yourself.

And MOST of the time,  it will be a lonely ride until you reach the end. Only few will find a loyal companion to take the rough ride with ya. And Only upon proving that the road you travelled leads to success that some will follow in your footsteps and believe in you again. And at the end of that success journey, you  meet others like you. Bruised and battered but strengthen also by the challenges you faced along the way.

Are you those few who dare to take the bold step? Out of your comfort zone to venture into the wilderness.

I’m one who is equipped with the educational qualification to give me a comfortable life. But what if I want more? More in the sense that just more. More comfortable then now but not to the point of GREED. If lets say I want to buy mama a big bungalow where she said she could plant a mango tree, have BBQ at our very own patio, and have our weekly gatherings.

I’ve got tonnes of business idea, but none ever come to life. out of fear. or thinking it is too risky….

i do feel like i wanna take the plunge. But then again, maybe I’m afraid to do it alone. Maybe I just can’t find a buddy who would do it with me? Probably its time to actually do it alone.

But I guess I’ve been looking too hard into the deep that I got scared from taking that leap.

I felt threaten by the “wat-ifs”. What if that happen, what if this happen, will I regret doing what I did…… But what if I do it and good things happen. I will never know until i try, right?

Would you invest 1K in 1mth for a guaranteed deal to gain 10-fold of what you invest in within sayyyyy, 2 years – Good Deal or not?

But you need to remain FOCUS, COMMITTED, DISCIPLINED! Can I do all that? I can’t even focus at work nowadays. Well that possibly coz its really getting stagnant or just plained tired chasing after projects deadlines and status.

Don’t look too hard into the deep…or you might not take the leap. Probably its time to make the leap…of courage…of faith….of all that I once believed in but somehow lost myself coz I was living in the past all this while,  instead of looking to the future and living for the present.

“Well, D.E.A, its about time to make that decision or that corner bungalow will never be urs to live in”.

Question is, do i really want that corner bungalow or just that corner flat? ehmmm……

Not only the cramps that kept me awake last night…but the fact that the opportunity is knocking….should I open the door…..and let them in?

Is this dilemma or just plain fickle or hormonal ?

So many questions………i need to just sit and do nothing….anyone game for a long haul flight….??? To dubai..how long does it take to reach Dubai anyway? hahaha…

This year’s APM (Anugerah Planet Muzik) is a joke (i don’t mean tat as a Compliment). Please bring those glory days back. What is happening? Are you all out of budget or run out of ideas or what what what!!!!????? I really wish you can bring it back. Personally, the benchmark was 2004. Go and watch the videos. That was your best year APM 2004. I clearly recalled the red carpet moments, the limosines bringing in the phenomenal celebrities. The artist fighting for the best spot in the same category to see if there are the best among those in the Nusantara of Malay Entertainment scene in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia. If me, an individual still expects the same basic objectives why not you. Why is the category now separated by the country. Might as well stick to the same old AJL, AIM for Malaysia, I dunno what Indonesia awards show has, Singapore doesn’t even have one, that’s why I think APM was the brain-child of Singapore (is that so?) If so, then keep it like a gem and treat it like one, for goodness sake. I use to enjoy APM and looks forward to it every single year. This year was a surprise because it was wayyyyyy overdue. Usually first quarter of the year. Then it moved to Jakarta (sorry but your timing couldn’t have been better). Moving to another venue is good. But you all should have known better as to how the locals or even our across the causeway neighbour would react. No one might go there due to cost constraint. Make it feasible lah.  Really couldn’t bear for it to be gone totally. But rather than see it go from bad to rotten. Probably shelving the whole idea is even better. Sit down and figure it out. I was constantly sms-ing my usual APM Khakis, nothing positive at all from them. I hope you all are reading this. I’m not saying I can do a better job. I’m sure you all can do it, just that you may have constraints…but do you all even consider alternatives for the benefit of the viewers? We voted, we watched, we judged. It is for us, right? For the industry right?

Do it well or don’t do it at all!

Seriously, its BAD. To those who only watched this year’s performance, and none of the past APMs, your jaw would dropped if you look at APM 2004.  It was THE BEST. It was a totally downhill right after that year…all the way into this year.

I don’t mean to criticize your work. But if any of the organizer is reading it, pls improve it ok.  PLSssss….

Better luck next year!

The only nice thing is the stage (bring that stage to Singapore). I don’t see a grand opening, if you think kecak2 was, close enough but not the best. No finale. Not exactly a theme event. Big names small performances, wats the freaking point. Audience responds was only for home artists. Guest artist seems unrecognizable to those screaming home crowd. Total flop. Seriously, tell me if was your best APM ever??Bull SHIT! If you said it was, u gotta joking your A** off.

First it was the fever that comes & goes. Then body aching. Heat rash. Now a heavy head. Headache since afternoon. I felt my head pumping like the engine of my car. I think the panadol extra really works for me fast. The throbbing has subsides now. Watching APM, which is rather dissapointing this year. Pls lah organizer, Make it better like it used to be during those infant years. Now? My god. Pls….. No matter how i complain, i’m still watching it.

Recently,  newpaper reports that firmed action is to be given to those who eats in the MRT.  With FINE amounts between $30 – $500 depending on how often the offender gets caught eating in the train.

Here’s my opinion and whoever reads beyond this has no rights whatsoever to penalise me because this is my blog and I’m just stating my opinion in a country where I lived. So that’s a lot of  ‘I’, if you still don’t get it. Just leave this blog and rest assured you and I will be happier. ok..here goes….

First they banned the Chewing Gum because they said it get the door jammed up together. Ok fine by me, I won’t die not eating chewing gum. But possibly could choke to death due to it.  Still within reach in our neighbouring country and chew it to my hearts content before returning home.

Anyway, now they said NO FOOD. They were lenient before. But then now I suppose they are getting pissed. Probably because some clowns doesn’t know how to keep the train clean despite the leniency granted over NO EATING rule. But the again, we have been educated again and again over NO EATING and many more NOs our entire up-bringing, so this is no difference. They must have invested loads of Ka-Chings on those stickers saying NO EATING, NO SMOKING, NO…etc .etccc…

Now who’s to blame for all this??? My answer is THEY THEMSELVE.

Why I blamed them??? Because, they started all those quick bites stores all over the MRT. They called it the MRT X-change. Trust me! I frequent an MRT station in my neighbourhood, which previously only had one over-priced convenient store. But that fella has gone to I-dunno-where but that placed just turned into a mini-canteen of some sort with fruit stalls, quick-bites, even a whole meal set like mee-rebus etc easily packed in a disposable box for easy consumption. I’m not suggesting u clowns eat noodles in the train. dun be blur pls. read on…

Tell me, pls…

After a long day at work..or if you are rushing to go to work and you have a rumbling tummy, that sure serves as a good pit-stop to shut the rumbling. Kids, teenagers loves quick bites to just grab and go. And after GRAB-ing, they GO inside the train and EAT lor…

Right? If the convenience is thrown at you just like that, for sure as consumer, you CONSUME. So now, didn’t they made all this people do it with the intention…wait a minute, wat was the intention anyway…eat in the train? then pay fine? So to them it sounds like a win-win situation. I sell more stuff at the train, the stall-vendors give me monthly payment, i get to FINE all those clowns who eat in the train…still MORE $$$. They only get richer..not poorer …

Probably now they get so mad because after earning so much, they must use the money to clean up the train, maybe. That’s what pissing them off.

I’m just thinking aloud here. So any authority out there…by all means, if you happen to read my blog. Just leave peacefully as my earlier paragraph already told you to do so. Its plain stupid for you to make a big deal abt this because I’m not rich for you to sue me. OK. so just buzz off….get a life..or read someone else’s blog. ok..

Peace to the reader…..

And for God sake you clowns out there, haven’t there been enough eating place that you all need to eat in the train. The cabins are air-conditioned and the smell of one curry puff can reach the other end of the cabin and someone might puke and cause all the more mess than you potentially will….

ok dun pay fine….don’t eat in the train….eat at home….ok ..clean and save cost…if you really have to put something in your mouth…sweets will do ok….tat is fine…sweets dun count….unless u go around spitting it out…NO KUACI also ok. That is WORST ! *LOL*….

Singaporeans….proud to be one…but then again……. nvm…hahaha…

Take care now!

What if you believe in something so much that you not willing to budge no matter if the weight of the world is on you and everyone else disagree. How?

I have one thought, opinion, wish…i dunno what to call it but I’m not willing to budge from my that one particular believe even if I had to die waiting for it. Too bad lah kan if I really didn’t happen. I don’t even know if I will regret doing it or not. Basically I did much thoughts, its really crazy to still believe in it. But then again, nothing is impossible in this world, unless HE said no. But I’m willing to take that chance. That one chance that might ruin me for good. That’s why I can’t understand myself.

But there other thoughts – not so good ones – that’s been clouding my mind. And that also is driving me insane. Why must that happen? Why must I know that it happened? And why I choose to be ok about it? Why???????????????????????????????????????????????

I’m really falling sick i think. But I don’t want to “+1″ to the H1N1 statistics. The sore throat has lead to body aches and all. How could that even be? Being sick, truly sucks!

I was sickly in KL. I had fun but I know if I’m 100% healthy I would have much more fun. I’m like 70% healthy 30% sick. So I sleep a whole lot. Even when back home, I tried to sleep in early, which I did apparently. Hit the sack by about 11. Tat’s early considering that I can still b out at that hour on some days.

I’m just worried I get the freaking pneumonia thingy, like i did couple of years back….ohhhhh tats bad….i recalled exactly how it all started. And I’m seeing similar symptoms now. Tat was bad, 4 doctors and 1 A&E visit, almost 2 weeks of MC in total before I eventually recovered.  Close to being warded. Yikes! Please not during this H1N1 season….pls no no ….

So I’m planning on a “good-girl-week”, which means, I go home straight after work and hit the sack after dinner a tiny bit of tv.

Not sure if I should go to my Family Dr. tonite or not….why am I getting body ache???? I’m feeling the chills this very moment.

And look at the weather, its pouring outside……should have parked outdoor to get free car wash..hehehe…..

Sick sick ..cough cough…..aching everywhere…..oh boy i need my bed…..and blankets…

Back to my conference call…..

Its all in the F**KING mind……….and its driving me insane!