To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom ~Bertrand Russell~

So horrible traffic jam on the way to meeting. Late for meeting thanks to the accident on AYE occupying lane 1 & 3….. I had to find a detour. Ended the meeting, heading East. On the way down, almost crashed my car at office carpark. I could have either rammed into the wall or broke my right hand. Thankfully, neither happen. But that almost caused my heart to stop beating. Still shivering as I drove along ECP. Just one of those “hari bodoh aku” (Translate: Stupid days of mine). i still have no idea, how my right hand got entangled with the steering wheels. What was I thinking!???

The Muslims (me included) have left the month of Syawal which is the whole month that we celebrate Eid.

What’s next for us all? Back to the usuals…clearing leave..etc etc…cookies all finished. House in a slight mess in prep for the upcoming wedding.

yes! Its been ages since we host a wedding.

As for me, it my family’s wedding of the year. Yes! yes! My one and only big brother’s wedding. Dinner plan didn’t happen. So I tot of heading off to just chill out…JD wasn’t quite into going out today. But Abang called, so I decided to just help him out. Then go wash my very dirty car. Dinner in the car eventually while it gets a good scrubbing at Shell.

Head to Joo Chiat, get the wedding invitations. I just can’t believe myself. My big brother is getting married. Happy for him despites the mixed feelings abt ppl asking when is my turn….typical questions that follows. But I guess its not yet my time. Coming back to the marriage. I still can’t believe the name printed on the card is my brother’s name. My god! Super duper unbelievable. I don’t recall ever imagining this day happening probably coz marriage wasn’t much of our priority back then. At least both of us never ever discuss it. Growing up, back then, our childhood is just unique in our own way. We had a fair amount of happy times and kena-whacking times Abang got the most whacking of coz….for being too good a son…hahha…”Good”..he’s so naughty during his growing up years. My god! Nakal gilerrrrrrrr! But he’s grown into a good, responsible man. But most time, gets on my nervesssssssssssss….haahahha…well, what are brothers for - if not to make the sisters have a hard time…Glad to have him around. Tough Love lah! No big sister…no younger sister..no one else..just me and abang. Probably that’s enough just us…two’s a company…they say.. Though I do imagine what it would be like to have 5-6 siblings….sure havoc one!

So for the next month, I’ll be wedding planner heheh…if the wedding is bad, my fault! if the wedding went well, my fault also – in a good way….*ROFL*

So let’s all look on the bright side of life.

I mend my shoe at the cobbler recently. I learnt something from that stranger. As I sat waiting for my shoes to be fix. My problems run through my mind like some sort of a checklist items. But it got interrupted by Mr Cobbler.

To summarise, If you think you got problems, some ppl have much bigger problems. I’ve got problems. Even the cobbler who mends my shoe was complaining abt his problems. *I think his problem is way bigger than mine. * But he bury it deep inside, somehow, coz life goes on. He chat with us. He continue to live his life despite all his problems. And he got responsibilities way heavier than mine. yet, he got time to go disco dancing till the boot’s heel pops out.. Being the cobbler by profession, he got no problem fixing it at the dance floor. Interesting man, I would say!

Everyone just have to face the harsh reality of life. We have to Face it, Fix it, Forget it. Learn from it. That is one way to look at our problems. Bragging about it ain’t gonna help much.

So how do I forget my problems and indulge myself. CONCERT Next week!!!!!!!!! most expensive ticket…*ouch to the pocket*

My dear mr Anuar Zain is coming to town! wohoooo! He’s my penawar. Nice fella! And a whole bunch of the KL-friends are coming to town also. He’s sooooo going to sing and serenade us into the night at the Esplanade Concert Hall…..If you haven’t got your ticket, sistic is selling…so do what needs to be done.

Then back to reality – I’ll be on 5-day course, new hobbies which I’m enjoying…pre-wedding, wedding, post-wedding…..mum + granma + granpa medical check ups….

Tat’s me. A simple lass leading a very, very, veryyyyyyyy busy and complicated life.

Now, Time to sleep. Tmr is time to work…then also got time to soak in the chlorine waters *LOL*

Water Therapy!!!!!!!!!!!

Needed to cool off some steam yesterday.  So I go in search of a new ‘Batcave’ after work,  after hitting about 50 and a couple of empties….i’m guess its time to leave coz the phone is about to explode coz i ignored most of it. And didn’t get that great a sleep, that I had to bug my mum to accompany me back to bed in the wee hours. Darn!

But on the up-side, I was up early and in office on time. That’s a good thing. Ok now to some serious works.

When you look at a beggar, what do you see?

For most, its just money they wants, to feed themself. Though nowadays some have exploit the whole idea and there are even syndicate, apparently. But lets just stick to the very basic idea of begging.

Sometime if you think harder, we are no far better than them. Furthermore, we are all but human. The only difference is that, we see what they beg for….mostly money to feed themself.

But I think at one point in our life, we sort of beg for something, unconsciously. And it bothers us if we don’t get it. At least, I felt that way at one point in my life. But most of the time, the conscious begging I do is towards Allah in the form of silent prayers every single day, hours, minutes. Hoping that HE grants my noble wishes. Just kidding! I guess HE knows best what to give and not to give. Sometime, we felt why is HE not giving what we prayed for. But we do know HE got something better in the queue. HE does all the time. Its just a matter of time. And if we are patient enough, I guess the wait is always worthwhile. I’ve seen it happen before right under my nose. And for all the pain that I think I feel or have felt before, I guess HE makes me such a strong person not for nothing. It is to withstand it all. I could bend as far as possible, but HE will not make me brake. I have every bit of faith in HIM. HE is who I look for each time I faced a problem. I guess this time around, it is no different.

I heard this a lot, “Kesian Dee, asyik kena bully je” (TRANSLATES: “Poor Dee, always get bullied“). Well, I rather give way then ramp head-on. The way I see it, there are other things worth fighting for as compared to whatever it is the subject matter.  So why bother?

But because we are human. We feel and we need to heal ourself from the pain. Some ppl travel, some ppl confine themselves, some people cry their hearts out….no matter how you pray…u need to let the hormonal part still consume you. I think crying does helps. Travelling maybe, haven’t try that yet. Confine yourself and stay away from people. That’s just drive me nuts. I do take time alone though. Not sure if that considered confinement

I guess bottomline, be patient. That’s all. Coz if you are not, we might end up doing stupid things, regretable things….and idoitic things. So just be patient.

Ramai yang kata….Sabar itu separuh daripada Iman….well..mama pun kata..so mungkin ia benar….maka bersabarlah….

Stepped into office this morning….get myself settled down…

Then my colleague came in…as I stood up to go toilet…

Colleague no. One : Ehhh…I rarely see you wear skirt…actually I never see you wear skirt?  You should do it more often….

Me: *Smile* I’ll try . But it is very troublesome, have to walk slowly and I prefer to walk fast

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Colleague no. TWO : Oi, why you wear skirt today ah?

Me: So what was the file you needed? *trying to sidetrack*

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Colleague no. THREE (that’s judy): *thinking to herself* is she wearing bermudas to work?

I can’t imagine Jude thinks I wearing bermudas to work. Its skirt…there are other things that’s above the knee level jude..hahha

*I know this because she told me during lunch*

After lunch at McDonalds Queensway Shopping Centre, I stepped into office…

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Colleague no. FOUR: Eh…why you wear skirt today ah? Do you like got some date or what?

Me: *Smile*…I wish…!!! *actually I do…but at home & its not a date, its just dinner*

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So why is it that it is such a big deal if I wear skirt….BECAUSE….in a year, I probably wear it less than 5 times…this year is considerably GOOD..coz i worn it 3 times already i think….

and there’s 3 day out of 365 minus non-working days…go figure it out!!!!

Ok what! Coz in school, I remember I wore skirt EVERYDAY!! So still not enough ah..kindergarten 2 years of skirt, primary school 6 years of skirt, secondary school 4 years of skirt…and still Saturdays in Sec Sch got NPCC skirt…tight and got changing parade…chg from skirt to PT attire..run around like mad….

I won’t blame them coz they had no idea the total number of days I wore skirt….so now wear it one day…such attention, I got.  What is the moral of the story?

Moral is….people actually pay attention to what I wear….So lets try something more fanciful…and see what else they say….I know if I wear baju kurung..it might be same thing….furthermore I one Muslim girl here in my dept…

Ok back to werk…my dinner tonight…having some friends over.

It is obvious that cats can’t read. Get it?

Grandma use to make my hair like this for school. And decided to do the same.

Those were the days….

With IPod…feel the music ya’ll

Happy Times!

These kids! And said I sometime look like maid. Pot calling the kettle black…hahahhaa

Due to objections by the owner..i had to crop to exclude her sexy legs.

Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
Namun ini hanya ada di bibir
Di bibir saja

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
Walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban di hidupku
Biarkan saja biar saja
Hanya ku yang tahu

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
Untuk tetap kuberdiri

Oh! ada saatnya kubicara
Bila hatiku t’lah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam

Oh! sejarah cinta dan hidupku
Penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
Untuk tetap ku berdiri

Oh! ada saatnya ku bicara
Bila hatiku t’lah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
Aku tetap diam..

Didn’t quite get the song when watching Ayat-Ayat Cinta..but when Hetty Sarlene sang it during HighTea..its somehow so like..wow! So here goes, a step into archiving the lyrics … i can’t seem to remember each time i save it in my office pc

Rossa – Takdir Cinta

ku tutup mataku
dari semua pandanganku
bila melihat matamu
ku yakin ada cinta

ketulusan hati yang mengulir lembut
penguasa alam tolonglah pegangi aku
biar ku tak jatuh pada sumur dosa
yang terkutuk dan menyesatkan cintaku

reff:

andaikan ku bisa lebih adil
pada cinta kau dan dia
aku bukan nabi yang bisa sempurna
ku tak luput dari dosa

biarlah ku hidup seperti ini
takdir cinta harus begini
ada kau dan dia bukan ku yang mau
oh Tuhan tuntunlah hatiku

penguasa alam tolonglah pegangi aku
biar ku tak jatuh pada sumur dosa
yang terkutuk dan menyesatkan cintaku

repeat reff

DIANTARA BERJUTA CINTA

bila ada seseorang dalam hatimu
tapi ternyata dia tak mencintaimu
jangan pernah terbersit untuk membencinya
hadapi saja dengan senyumanmu

walau pedih terasa mengiris di dada
meski seakan dunia tak berarti lagi
memang itulah kenyataan sebenarnya
jangan pernah untuk engkau pungkiri

mungkin cinta hanyalah cinta
jangan disesali atau kau tangisi
mungkin semua akan ada hikmahnya untuk dirimu
mungkin nanti kan ada cinta
yang lebih baik lebih mencintaimu
lepaskan segala sedihmu

seiring waktu yang akan selalu berganti
seperti juga banyak manusia terlahir
diantara berjuta cinta yang tercipta
pasti ada cinta tulus untukmu

karena masih banyak yang menyayangi
masih banyak sahabat didekatmu
diantara berjuta cinta
diantara berjuta sayang
diantara berjuta cinta

by:rama band

Jason Mraz
Featuring: Colbie Caillat Lyrics

p>

I’ve had problems lately…old and new that clouds the little spaces in my mind. Had too many advices, chats and talks to ease the troubled soul. But when I look at Rachel the other day, I learnt one simple thing from this 1-year-old little neighbour of mine. Taking baby steps. She’s new to the art of walking but was never afraid to stand and make that step. NO fear of falling. Determined, sprung up if she did take a fall. I envy her. Why can’t I face my problems the way she did hers? She’s young but she isn’t afraid to make that mistakes. Nobody would think it was a mistakes but more so her effort in perfecting that walk.

There is no point bragging about my problems anymore. It is uniquely mine. And no matter how many people I confided it. Only I can make the decision to change my life and the way I run it. Either I face it, bury it, juggle it….thrash it…the decision is mine alone. The consequences are mine to take.

So I’m adopting Rachel’s method.

Just take it easy. I’ll take it a step at a time. And let my future unfolds with any surprises along the way. I think I’m still lucky enough despites all the problems I faced. There are people in this world who have had much to suffer than me. So I guess, no matter how moody I am, the world still spins. And life goes on.

I’m not about to make my problems rule my life. No way!!! There is much more to look forward to than figuring out my neverending grown-up problems.

One step at a time….just like how Rachel does it.