To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom ~Bertrand Russell~

Diagnosed with gastric..mc on monday
i tot it would be better. The pain is still here till today.
And since this morning, my trip to the toilet for the ‘big ones’ had been close to 10 times.
I’m getting all tired already.There seems to be nothing else to let out.

I also feel like throwing up.

Gotta’ settle for porridge tonite to ease things out a little.

It is very worrying now that the pain doesn’t subsides since Sunday.
It only got worse with the additional ‘lao sai’ and the nausea.

Gotta’ stay close to toilet anywhere i go. Goin’ home means taking cab.
Being stuck in traffic is the last thing i want.All the more I should be taking train but not with the xtra ‘luggage’.

Got to bring back the tub from afternoon lunch party. Everyone complimented on the food prepared by kak rahimah’s mum. “Compliment to the chef”, said my boss. They all goes, ‘I like this one!’ a couple of times. Thank God it went well! Syukur Alhamdullillah! The thing i fear most abt food recommendation if it is really bad. This time is considered a SUCCESS.
Thanks to Abg Jali for accepting our order. It went well. Just tat we ordered too much for such small crowd.

*ARGGHhh!!! Please don’t make me go toilet again!*

Cab again!??? *sigh*

We messed up the boot of a taxi just now due to a minor spill of the ‘ayam masak merah’.But that’s end of story. We can’t hear the driver’s scream anyway. No doubt it was clean b4 we messed it all up.

I just wanna go home now. *upset stomach* *ouch* *ouch*

Things on my mind now:
Mum getting better or not?
Should I proceed for KL trip on 9 march with pak long and family?
Should I see doctor for the endless ‘lao-sai’?
Shannon’s ROM on Friday…
Dinner tomorrow at vivo…
esplanade project..shahrul….the team….
 

Got sick yesterday. Not sure though if its because of the Mussels I had during my late lunch. Anyway, it’s been almost 2 days now and i don’t feel any better. The pain comes and goes. Doc said its just gastric. But does gastric actually last tis long. I tot its a quickie kinda thing.

Like it or not I have to go to work. Not that there’s anything urgent but a newbie’s a newbie. Can’t give the impression of being weak, can’t ya? Unless I’m really down then ok lah fair enough, I’ll stay home. Or if I’m abt to cause everyone to get my cough or flu. Ya tat will make me confine myself.

Weekend wasn’t much of a happening. Did my facial, pick up granma, go for open house, back home with additional guests to watch Pesta Perdana together till late. Its nice to watch TV together. Though you get distracted most of the time with in-betweens conversations going on. Nevertheless, its fun and entertaining.

Sunday was more relaxing this time round. Just a CNY visit to a neighbour’s house and off I go to Vivo with bro to Epic Movie. Discounted tickets courtesy of my company. The rest was just a very lazy Sunday nite as the so-called gastric kicks in by the time I got home.

Nothing interesting. Next weekend I am not going for any weddings, gatherings, if possible. But there is already 4 events that i’m invited to…..*sigh*

Tonite rest more and watch Gol & Gincu episode 9 @ 9.30pm Suria Channel.

Have you attempt to reach the Most Southern Point of the Asia Continent. Well, it is situated at Sentosa. A tiny island that is connected by the bridge to the Palawan beach if I’m not wrong. Well, Sentosa got 3 beaches, Palawan, Siloso & Tanjong.

If you ever step into Sentosa, I bet you hardly have trouble going across the little island right? Well, guess what, over the CNY break, i just thank God Almight the bridge doesn’t fall apart because of this……..

Did you ever imagine that the bridge will be that crowded…? No! Neither did I! NOT SUPER-IMPOSED picture ok..this is REAL…

Don’t even get me started on how crowded the rest of the island is… from Vivocity Monorail station to each and every other monorail station on Sentosa…to all the beaches…its really a turn-off to think that you wanna get a nice serene environment when all you got was loads of overnight camping tent and loads of people.

*serenity now*…i decided to go to Vivo to catch a movie instead. Quite a heavy topic for a movie, Kongsi Suami. It’s an Indonesia movie staring Shanty as one of the ladies that ended up in polygamy (becoz the husband married to 4 ladies). That review coming up in my future posting.

Time’s like now, I wish i got YM to chat with my friend…..ok

shall post more later….

Thursdays are such a draggy day. For so much checking i’ve done, the time is only 10am. How am i to last till 630pm

Gosh! Not that I doesn’t enjoy getting more pay ..with less work(for now) but its getting more and more boring at work. No action. Seriously! I need those job that keep me on my toes every minute.

Probably all job is the same, its how you see it.

I heard Dato’ Dr Fadzilah Kamsah on ERA (Malaysia radio) saying, “If you choose to be happy at work, then you are happy. If you choose otherwise, then anything you do at work will be boring since your mind is set in telling yourself that everything u do is boring. It all boils down to how you see it and how u feel abt it. Its all in the mind, actually”. See how powerful your mind can be.

I believe so. Because I’ve experimented with the power of the mind. I always have second thoughts before doing anything. But once I set my mind to achieving it. Oh boy, the adrenaline just rushes through and everything will fall into place. Irregardless of the obstacles, you will just know that things will be OK eventually. Just overcome that obstacle, and Move On.

It may sound simple but it is not, however, it is ACHIEVABLE.

Remember people, its all in the mind.

Tonight is yet another Gol & Gincu night. Episode 8 – Mungkin Nanti.

The other day, while lying on the bed watching TV on the local malay channel I saw the trailer for the upcoming awards show. I realized something rare out of that trailer. It goes like this…

The nominees for Best Leading Actress in a drama are (something like that):

Actress A – Drama 1

Actress B – Drama 2

Actress C – Drama 3

Actress D – Drama 4

Actress A – Drama 5

Ok spot the difference? Or rather – the similarity. Actress A got nominated TWICE in the same category. Maybe I’m an idiot in the entertainment world. But as far as I have watched Awards Show, such things never happen.

Isn’t it obvious that if Actress A is nominated TWICE in that 1 category, she’s already the best – probably to the jury who shortlist the 5. Opps! 4 of them J

I still dun get it. If someone reading this would care to explain. To me, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Even if she deserves it, I still tot that slot should be given to other actress who have perform rather well in other drama. Like there isn’t any? I believe there is. I already got one in mind.

Come on man! It not just any category ok. Its best leading actress (if I’m not wrong lah)

PAUSE [Surfing the awards official website]

Ok I shall not say more. I tot there is only 1 such category that happen like that….THERE ARE MORE !!!!

Ok lah..shall not say more. There are loads who deserve a taste of the trophy but they rather nominate the same person for the same category and let 1 person ‘pao-ka-liao’ as many trophy as possible. There should just not get the public involvement and change the whole process. They can just decide, if your name appear more than once in the top 5, then you win…your trophy will be delivered by POST to your home address. Don’t even have to have live telecast. *sigh*

Probably after the show being telecast live next week. Then the local papers will comment. So we will eventually find out whether the mass audience agree to the nominees…OR NOT!

Maybe this is a new thing! So much for asking you guyz to be creative. You came up with such ‘fantastic’ nominations.

Either way, hopefully the show is good.

Whatever I wrote above is my personal opinion, if you happen to be reading it and don’t fancy it. Don’t even think abt getting me into trouble. We have our freedom to speak our mind. And believe me, I’m not the only one who think so. There are more.

If you are not happy, feel free to CLOSE THE BROWSER and don’t ever visit the URL ever again.

 One nice Sunday afternoon, I sat by the beach…looking far…thinking even further. I let my thoughts run wild along with the unexpectedly strong sea breeze. Time passes by…i sat ther…all by myself….

 Wah liaw…! Can’t take it already..ok tat is sooooo not me. Here is the TRUE STORY.

It was Akil’s 2nd birthday, i bought him what his Dad told me he like. And that’s 2 Power Rangers figurine. And 1 Hot Wheels track and a minicar.

We ate and ate and ate…BBQ and more BBQ…with the passing cloud threatening our half burnt meat. But we ignored the droplets from the sky and just continue with our FOOD BURNING…coz it really don’t look much like nice BBQ food…its nicely BURNT FOOOD.

Then we had a nice cathing up with family.but in actual fact, we haven’t been missing each other much coz strangely, my family is having gathering practically every weekend. If its not someone’s birthday, its wedding, otherwise its a wedding anniversary. If not its just me, *can’t help it* to call my cousins and aunt and uncle to my place. And drag my grandparents along. Hahaha…i love having them around u see. And it get better if 1 or 2 cousins stay for the night. Coz i get to go out late for midnight movie at a cineplex closest to home. I can’t possibly drag my granparent to go along right. I would think that Yai (my granpa) would if i’m lucky enough to sweet talk him…but that’s just being Zalim to drag an old man to do such things right. So i drag the younger ones. They welcome my offer with open arms. Coz among the cousins 7 grandchilren. Only me and abg are working. The rest are either in Poly or going into Poly.  Soon enough I’ll have my rightful claims to their SALARY….Muahahahaha! Yes study as much as you can. Coz the minute you work…I’ll be waiiiitingggggg…. *Hope they are reading this*

i actually wanted to use PICASA to make a nice picture to load…but my eyes are getting heavy and i’ve got a pretty much complicated and long-winded MS ACCESS program to trace tmr….so i need all the energy for tmr….

Probably I’ll do it tomorrow nite…after Gol & Gincu …no promise though…nite nite…

*nak mimpi naik Star Cruise lah malam ni*

My first year of studies at NYP, our first project was an Access program.That was in July 1997 . We, or more like KV did it all single handedly, at least the programming part. I did the documentation..and AZM did something, JD also did the programming i think. We did this CD STORE. I wish I still have that program. Now, after 10 years, I’m looking at another ACCESS program at work. I did loads of fanciful techy stuff and one day I realized I’m back to basics. *gosh* I should have contributed in the coding part, and I wouldn’t have problem trying to figure out the MS Access program now. *sigh*

ok that aside, I ever blog how my room was like the hotel room in Concorde, KL. It gets better! The TV I ‘loan’ from ma’s room was able to tuned to NTV7, 8TV, TV9, TPI, TV3…and God knows what other indonesian channels. Of coz these are free channels, you just need to hook up the antenna though. Well, I don’t permanently hook it up. I just do it as and when there is nice shows to watch. And most important of all was TV2, which I was able to hear but not see. This is partly because I’ve yet to find the spot to put the antenna so that TV2 looks more ‘view-able’ now i hear the sound but nothing on screen..I’m close enough.Probably that ought to keep me busy tonight.

CNY is coming, just round the corner. I wish I could take a break at some nice beach somewhere but my budget is kinda TIGHT. So probably go across the ’causeway’ to Sentosa. Time to try out the new attractions, like the Monorail, Luge and what else ah?

Other than that, I’m deciding whether I should pick up swimming lessons. I wanna re-take my PPCDL which cost me $300 and i just quit right before the test. The Theory test which I cleared after 2nd take expired years ago. To re-take it like to pay another $300 and make sure i clear it this time round.

The new sports complex at my neighbourhood have a spanking swimming pool. There is one that is 0.9 m deep throughout. Well, some pool has a deep end. For a non-swimmer like me, i prefer to stay at the opposite end of the pool Bro have tried it out, probably I should to. Ehmm, i should drag my mum along to be my looker in case I need help. But when? Tmr got facial, Sunday got 1 wedding and another is a wedding anniversary.

my weekend is so occupied with so many weddings. Probably tmr, after facial, I go check out the new pool with mum how abt that aaiii? Ok tonight go check out swimming suit.Ehmmm …

So any cuz wanna join me?

to Baz: Good luck with your O level results.

Wowwww! A few more days and its going to be a month since I’m into this new job. Up till today, at this very moment especially – I felt so much like a baby learning to walk. Picture a toddler, learning to walk….a few steps and they fall. Their confident level is being built up at those instance. Well that’s how i see myself now. On the other hand, I was like a primary 1 student in my previous job. Almost 7 years in the previous company, I’m familiar with most of the working culture. But still I felt I’m being restrain at some point. I tot now would be different. Different! Yes very different indeed.

I felt like i’m learning all over again. Probably I’ll feel this way if I really end up studying again. I’ll mix around with those younger friends. If I somehow find a way to get my MBA (very doubtful), I’ll probably mix with the oldies or the intelligent ppls. Either way, probably I should learn to accept that I’ve had enough studying years and start to think more enterprenual tots. If there even is such a words.

I am still not clear what I want to achieve in the next 5 yrs. My head says something, my heart says another. Event mgmt business or Food business? I tot the latter would be more profitable. But I need capital. I’ve done and think of a lot of things to do but the thoughts of being a successful businesswoman has always been close to heart. I just need a little bit of kick in the behind to get my engine going. And one day if I do, I’ll probably not drop a gear. I’ll go all the way. I just can’t figure out what I ought to do in order to achieve that.

Study in Business to gain knowledge? Join the F&B industry to gain experience? Work my ass of to built my capital then start my business? I just can’t decide. I tot of taking a break to just sort things out. But what difference will a break do, if i can’t even think straight right here where I’m most comfortable.

What are my good and extraordinary capabilities? I’m good at pleasing others at times. I like to entertain others. I love to do things the extra mile. DOn’t ever ask me for A Favour. Coz you might get 2 or more without even you asking. Some ppl might think that I wanna carry ‘balls’. But I don’t and I’m not at all carrying anyones’ ball, for that matter. I just love to do it. Because at the end of the day, all I want in return is just a smile. You don’t even have to say Thank You. Your smile tells it all. See, it makes a lot of different to be able to make others smile. But somehow, i tend to make the one dearest to me frown, sometimes. Either because of my PMS or probably its just a bad day.
What else is good abt me? Two of my kinda close pals, both guys, ever told me that THEIR MOTHERS, commented that I’m a good gal. So what is exactly good abt me? Maybe coz i’m not the party animal kind. Tat’s why i’m good. Dunno lah. I guess probably I created a good lasting first impression. I hope I remain good though.

ok in terms of work, i’m the Never-Say-No kinda person. Just give me anything, I’ll do it to the best of my capabilities. I’ll not say NO to u. Even if i can’t do it..i try and try and try…until i can. Unless of coz really beyond my know-hows. Why I do tat? if you were to ask? Simply becoz Nothing is IMpossible, u see…how am i not to try hard enough knowing that if I do try hard enough, i will get it…. I work in a company with slogans like MAKE IT HAPPEN, MAKE MORE POSSIBLE…i come from schools with motto like DETERMINED AND DISCIPLINED, TOWARDS EXCELLENCE. seeing these words on my school uniform logo everyday…i guess the words just got engraved permanently in my heart and my head.

The point is we must not be a quitter. I saw in Gol & Gincu, a book titled ‘Princesses are not quitters’. My first name is the same as one princess (the late Lady D). So I’m not a quitter either

Let me conclude my evening posting by saying that, i’m not trying to put in good words abt myself. But I’m talking abt things i’ve gone through. Of coz I have my negative points…I’m not THE PERFECT HUMAN BEING. So to err is human, to purr is feline..hahahha…(if u don’t get it, beat it)
ok lah…gotta get bzzzzzzzzz…choa…
Dun forget to catch GOL & GINCU, the Series (episode 7) tonight on Suria Channel @9.30pm (Reza is HIV+ …so sad)