The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.

 - Anna Garlin Spencer

Oh where are you that rarer man I long seek? *ROFL*…Rarer? Got such word meh? Rare already hard to find? Rarer could be almost impossible to find. But there is no such thing as IMPOSSIBLE…So how? * confused *

 

All by Myself

When shits happen, all that I can do is either TOTALLY shut up or thrash it out. But when all is out, I go back to my room and all I have is myself…just me, myself and I. Nobody can help me but me. So here’s what I’ve done for all those while I had problems, I shut up and just be happy. Recently, I tried talking it out. The effect is the same as “shut up & be happy”. Bottomline, I’m still left alone to solve that problem. So next time, cry my heart out…..wipe the tears away….get on with solving the problem. End of the day, if you don’t solve your own problem….nobody else will….and you just feel like shit even more. So now what? Now, shut up and solve that problem(s) because other people got their own problem and their own life to live. The last thing they need is another cry baby asking for help over something that can be nothing.

Insecurity is just a feeling. All in the mind. And I am the master of my mind, right?

So who makes me feel insecure? ME loh!

So who’s to blame for my own insecurity? Me loh

So who can make me feel better? Me again.

So its all about me. So let’s just be me..and solve my problem, myself.

NO more sharing, no more confiding, no more for now…since I’m going to be on my own for a while.  Might as well work it out myself.

I shall only seek help from the only one that can help, HIM. Just HIM.

See YOU in my prayers…

 

Does turning 30 means u gotta be married ? Ehmm…*pondering*

Do i love kids? OF COURSE! Do I love to have my own some day??? Definitely, lots of them, with HIS blessings, I want to. I have friends whose kids are going into K1, K2, even P1 too. And I got only my baby suzuki that needs to go servicing. That’s about all the baby I have…and thank God for my lil’ niece..I do have a real baby at home.

Do i love men? DUH!!. Just one man will do, if I may choose the one I want.

Do i long to have a family of my own? I believe I do.

So trust me dear loved ones, I want to be married. Just not my time yet. So don’t, please don’t push the idea to my face. Because right now, there really isn’t anyone special….not even a man…let alone a prince – charming or not – who is gonna come knocking on my door. WHY? If I know it, I wouldn’t be saying all this would I?

Please spare me…

So why keep asking me to be married? If its up to me, I will speed it up. But its NOT! So pls…let me be….single and happy….it does have its advantages. Just don’t go ruin it….

*Ahhhhhhhh….feels goods to trash it out*

For the last time, I AM SINGLE……So stop asking me anymore!!!!!

 

Will, will, will I ever grow up?

“Hello, nek! Sunday kita pergi jalan2 ok…breakfast…tepi pantai?” *more talking after that & hang up*  Felt like I just made a promise, which I plan to keep.

Looking out the window, I can see the rain falling hard, miles away. It painted a white background, to my usually clear panoramic view of the tallest hotel in Singapore from my fifth floor office. Not exactly the corner office but just a little corner outside the cold server room.

Just as I stared out, a rainbow appeared. And another rainbow above it. Amazing. Simple beauty.

Kept staring at the rainfall as it approaches the skies above me. Raindrops began hitting the window and washed away the dust.

So what do I do next?

Grab my cup and made myself a nice cuppa Cappucinno & munching the JACOB’S Hi-Cal ‘Original’ flavoured biscuits. Finally, I figured how to make myself a cuppa nice coffee at work. After moving to the new premises, I’ve been enduring a sucky coffee which is made by me of coz. The thing about those nice coffee machines and the coffee beans, wrong combo and u get yourself a cuppa worse than anything u will ever taste.

I’m off to catch PROSCENIUM@ The Arts House, The Play Den. Lil’ cuz performing. Fara has got all the talent in the her.

Linda’s just got her job interview next week.

Hawa’s gonna be doing her intership, teaching Arts.

Boy is serving his NS.

Baz is well on her way to join the Teaching Force as well.

Did my cousins just out-grown me…or I just refused to grow up? Either way, I wish them all the success in being a well-rounded adult serving their family, country and themself well. You kids better be good ya. Not easy bringing you all up. How I know…? Because I SEE U grow right in front of my own eyes. And I’m only your cousin. Your parents surely feel more than what I’m feeling right now “) So be nice to them ok…they deserve it!

I dunno what this post is about actually. The subject just flow out uncontrollably. Long night ahead, supper is in the agenda.

Love all…Peace out….

 

Happy 2010..

Initially wanted to do a 2009 re-cap. But I don’t see why I should.

I and the rest of the world have crossed to 2010. Why a Happy 2010? Because thankfully, I’m still well and alive and living my life. So that’s is the only thing I’m thankful for and every thing else that comes with being me.

Now, 2010. Is it going to be just another year or I will have more life changing event this year where I turn 30.

Only time will tell…its all written for me, just a matter of execution So here goes….goodbye 2009. it had been an emotionally building year..financially draining….hahaha….Other than that, it had been a good year. Learned a lot also.

Now is time to REALLY grow up…its about time. *hate saying this*…

 

I’m going to take it slow….and steady…not about to do a re-cap just yet of 2009. But….just a simple conclusion to a recent happenings….

Conclusion: Xmas ‘09 will be a memorable experience so I wanna just soak in the moment for next couple of days…at least.

Now … I need to make up for some lost times with the family during the New Year…

 

Kuching Sarawak Nov 2009

 

Heartless….Helpless…Restless…

Next time, when in doubt – SLEEP!

Don’t do aything that requires the use of much brain cells that you ended up screwing things up. Damn bugger!

It as simple as that. But did I follow? NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!

I was kept up till almost 4am only to realize I made things worst. And now that I didn’t get enough sleep, I felt worst that I did before.

That’s why we are often reminded by our parents, “Don’t do stupid things”. This is one good example what they meant by stupid things.

I’m frustrated with myself for ruining it all. First I got to learn to SHUT MY TRAP when my comment is not required. Secondly, sleep over it. It will cure itself.

Probably tonight I have another sleepless episode due to the fact that I fear waking up late and get left behind by the coach. There are many making my fear doubled or rather tripled. I think my only good night sleep would be tmr after I pass the JB checkpoint inside the bus. Any sleep or nap or shut-eye, prior to that I really don’t feel at all at ease with myself nor anyone.

And I’m beginning to be really forgetful since yesterday, since the restlessness started. Oh God help me please…..grant me patience through this ….

Heartless leads to …Helpless leads to…Restless…

 

Mummy, its OVERRRR!!!! I meant my Annual Leave.

I was away for my Kuching holiday where I had a good tour of the City, a good tour guide which makes its also good, tried the local food, local drinks, even a tiny bowl of Tongkat Ali – in its raw form (its yucky btw, at least for me). THEN, I had an encouter of the spooky kind. really spooky spooky in the hotel room. Wanna hear abt it? wanna know my hotel room number and which hotel? call me hahaha…but I’m sure it wasn’t a dream because Judy was in the shower. The dreams I had while in Kuching wasn’t spooky..it was GREAT!!! One was nonsensical though,but, the other one was hot and steamy. WAKAKAKAKA….. see when you are in a relaxed mood, the dreams are just fantastico…

Then I was told to cut short my long leave. I did, kinda. But found a workaround The rest of the leave days was spent, either at home with Laura, my niece, whom I adore. So feeding and playing with her at home and going out to shop for her stroller, went out with bro and wifey. Then I spent a whole lot of time, either “sataying on my bed” (I meant try to bear the pain of period cramp), running errands, having dinner/lunch/breakfast, fixing tv, catching up with primary and secondary school friends, even had a tour of my old schools. BTW, thank you zali for the help with my tv, infact, thank you for all the help you. Appreciate it very, very much. Thank you for that.  

Wrap it up with sending off a dear friend in the wee hours for his flight out to Doha. Then off to work on Sunday morning after few hours of sleep.

And here I am again in the office on a cloudy monday afternoon. And voila, its lunch time. Yippie….

 

Leavin’ on a MAS plane

Orite folks, I’m off…leaving on a M.A.S plane. …I know when I’ll be back again….I’ll see you folks when I’m back….

Cheerios! LOVE all…